44 Years of Devotion: Phil Donahue and Marlo Thomas’ Marriage

From 1980 until his death on August 18, Phil Donahue was joyfully married to fellow television giant Marlo Thomas. Their relationship began on his groundbreaking program, The Phil Donahue Show, which later became simply Donahue, and flourished into a powerful television fan base. Their romance spanned 44 years of love, triumph, and devotion.

After beginning his career in 1957, Donahue rose to prominence as a pioneering television host who introduced unprecedented levels of audience participation. Marlo, the daughter of TV icon Danny Thomas, is known for her children’s franchise Free to Be…You and Me and the sitcom That Girl. Their respective careers earned them countless accolades, but their greatest reward was the decades they spent together. Here is their story.

The entire nation witnessed the moment two soulmates first crossed paths. They reflected on the fateful moment in a 2012 YouTube video. The year was 1977, and Marlo was promoting her movie, Thieves, which led her to an appearance on The Phil Donahue Show.

As the segment progressed, the two not only bounced off one another like they’d known each other for years, but also progressed into flirtatious behavior. At one point, Donahue went in for a hand hold and sweetened the deal with, “You are really fascinating.”

“You are wonderful,” Marlo replied. She recalled from that day, “I said it when we were off the air and I want to say, you are loving and generous and you like women and it’s a pleasure.” During that appearance, Thomas also said, “Whoever is the woman in your life is very lucky.”

Technically, this was their second meeting, though certainly the moment they fell in love, as Marlo called it “instant chemistry.” They had crossed paths in 1972 when she was a guest on his show back when it was still filmed in Dayton.

Second time’s the charm, although before entering that venue, Marlo had no eye for courtship. “I kissed a lot of frogs, so I wasn’t even looking,” she explained in a 2020 interview with Closer. “I went on Phil’s television show, and that is how we met. I fell in love.” They tied the knot on May 21, 1980.

Initially, there was conflict. “In the beginning, we argued hot and heavy because we were in more of a power struggle,” admitted Marlo. “As years went by, we settled into debating or arguing in a better, calmer way.”

Donahue’s career placed him in Chicago for a time, but he resettled in New York to be with Marlo. This level of commitment and mutual support became one of their greatest strengths. “A lot of people don’t have a good partner,” mused Marlo. “They marry someone who puts them down, is abusive, or isn’t invested in making their dreams come true. I feel that no matter what cockeyed idea I get, my husband always says, ‘You ought to do that! You will be great at that.’ I am very grateful for that blessing.”

Marlo was also mindful of the pre-existing family she was joining; Donahue had been married to Margaret Cooney from 1958 to 1975, and he had sons Michael, Kevin, Daniel, and James, and daughter Mary. “From the very first day, I decided I was not going to try to be a ‘mother’ to Phil’s children,” Marlo explained, “they already had a mom—but instead, to be their friend. I’m proud to say that the friendships I established with them are as strong today as they were 30 years ago—even stronger.”

The COVID-19 pandemic taught the television pioneers to slow down and cherish each other’s company at a more relaxed pace. After experiencing this, Marlo told People in April 2020 that they were “determined to get back to a slower pace, and that means curling up on the couch in front of the TV with a big bowl of popcorn. I like to call it ‘Netflix and Phil.’”

Last year marked their 43rd wedding anniversary, and Marlo attributed their lasting relationship to three L’s: “Love, listening, and lust.” “You have to listen and then you’ll know what the other person is really thinking and going through,” she explained. “You have to love each other. And without lust, you don’t have anything.”

Check out the moment their lives changed forever in the video below.