Baking Should Embrace Your Inner Child, Not Perfectionism

Kim-Joy, a finalist in the 2018 season of The Great British Bake Off, says she tries “to not be a perfectionist”. She charmed viewers with her adorable animal-themed bakes, sharing the final round with Ruby Bhogal and eventual winner Rahul Mandal.

“I try to not be a perfectionist – a lot of people tell me, ‘You’re a perfectionist!’ It’s a compliment, and it’s all meaning well because they mean you’re paying attention to details, which is a good thing.

“But I see paying attention to details as a different thing to being a perfectionist… being a perfectionist is inside of you, where nothing’s ever good enough and you’re constantly critical of what you do.”

That’s why Leeds-based Kim-Joy, 33, avoids striving for absolute perfection. She knows it can lead to feeling “bad about yourself” if your baking doesn’t meet your own high standards.

“Even if you create something that is 99 to 100 percent perfect, you’re like, ‘Well, I have to keep doing that – or do better next time,’” she says, noting that this can make your driving force become “negative” thoughts.

She believes perfectionism is often linked to low self-esteem, with core beliefs like “I’m not good enough” or “people won’t like me unless I do things very well,” which she finds “super crushing” and something she often sees in herself.

This philosophy is why Kim-Joy tries to let go of expectations when baking, allowing herself to be “fully creative, like a child”.

Her background in psychology supports her approach. Before her rise to fame on Bake Off, Kim-Joy was a psychological wellbeing practitioner and holds a master’s degree in psychology. She applies this knowledge to her baking, viewing it as a tool for improving mental health.

“A lot of my interest in baking isn’t just the baking itself but also helping my own mental health and hopefully other people’s mental health – I feel like that informs everything I do,” she explains.

Kim-Joy has been open about her own mental health struggles. At the end of 2021, she posted candidly on Instagram about taking antidepressants daily, a practice she started as a teenager.

“I’ve been on various different antidepressants since I was a teenager, but it’s only since about a year ago that I started sharing with a few people about being on antidepressants. Even when friends would talk to me about they themselves taking it, I still wouldn’t share that I took it,” she wrote.

She recalls having a traumatic childhood with close family members experiencing severe mental illness, making her feel the need to appear ‘strong’ for others, even when she felt scared.

Recalling her Instagram post, she says she wanted to “push myself” to be vulnerable. “I really think one of the most therapeutic things is hearing other people’s stories and not feeling alone. When I hear other people’s stories and I connect with that, I want to do the same. Vulnerability is strength.”

Kim-Joy finds expression through creative pursuits like baking, rather than talking. Her fifth cookbook, Bake Joy, emphasizes reconnecting with your inner child through baking. In true Kim-Joy style, the book features playful recipes such as meringues with googly eyes and thumbprint cookies resembling a magic forest.

“I get a lot of inspiration from kids… they’ve got freedom and creativity, and think of things slightly differently sometimes,” Kim-Joy says.

Baking allows you to “get back that joy you have when you’re a child” without worrying if things go wrong. “It doesn’t matter, because it’s still going to taste good – even if it’s not perfect,” she adds. While baking involves a bit of science, there’s also “a bit of chaos to it.”

Embracing this chaos can turn baking mishaps into opportunities. “If your chocolate cake falls apart, you can utilise that and create something different,” she suggests, like her cake topped with chocolate ganache and marshmallow pigs appearing to eat chunks out of the sponge.

One fun recipe to start with is her frog scones, which are “a nice bit of chaos.” The way scones cook means they inevitably end up mismatched and leaning differently, making them hard to mess up.

Ultimately, the best approach is to bake something you want to eat, whether it’s custard tart, lemon meringue pie, or anything else. Though you won’t find bananas in her book, as Kim-Joy isn’t a fan of them.

Baking can be as simple as wanting to eat something delicious and starting from there.

‘Bake Joy: Easy And Imaginative Bakes To Bring You Happiness’ by Kim-Joy (Quadrille, £16.99, available August 29).

Source: PA Media