Chelsea Handler Scorches JD Vance with Terms He’ll Understand

Chelsea Handler has joined the growing chorus of criticism against GOP vice presidential candidate JD Vance following the resurfacing of his 2021 comment about “childless cat ladies” among Democrats, including Vice President Kamala Harris.

“Listen up, you wingnut elegy. This country is still controlled by men in systems that were set up by men that are carefully crafted to continue to benefit men,” the comedian and actor stated in a video shared on X, formerly Twitter.

“So, to put it in women-hating terms you’ll understand, you’re being hysterical,” she continued.

There’s “no correlation between childless people and the presidency,” Handler noted, emphasizing that even the first president, George Washington, had two stepchildren, much like the likely Democratic 2024 presidential nominee, Harris.

Handler reminded Vance that “no president in the history of the United States has ever been a mother” because they have all been men. She went on to quip, “But maybe if she had five kids with three different men, and a scandalous affair with a porn star, and was convicted felon, that would be more palatable to Republican men,” alluding to GOP presidential nominee Donald Trump.

Handler ended with stinging references to the now-debunked claim that Vance once had intimate relations with a couch.

“You sad, diet, Mountain-Dew-drinking, couch-humping, dolphin-porn aficionado, all of us childless cat and dog ladies are gonna go from childless and crushing it to childless and crushing you in November,” said Handler. “And before you tell me he didn’t really fuck a couch, spare me. I grew up in New Jersey in the 80s where everyone had a couch in their basement and I know a couch fucker when I see one.”

Handler previously drew criticism from the right — including former Fox News personality Tucker Carlson — after celebrating not having children in a comedy skit video for “The Daily Show.”

After Carlson’s meltdown, Handler responded: “Are you really upset about how much freedom I have or are you upset that you haven’t been able to take it away from me yet?”

“I think we both know that you are hate-masturbating to me, and I’m down with that,” she added. Watch that video here: