Eight Women Reveal Their Erotic Fantasies

I was barely five years old in 1973 when Nancy Friday’s cult classic, “My Secret Garden: Women’s Sexual Fantasies,” began capturing the imaginations of millions of women. Friday’s book revealed that in our imaginations, unrestricted by societal norms or fear of judgment, we can indulge in our deepest, most transgressive desires. Initially provocative and revolutionary, it soon became a global bestseller.

I first read this groundbreaking book while preparing to play Dr. Jean Milburn, a sex therapist, in the TV series “Sex Education.” As a woman with her own sexual fantasies, I was curious to see how women’s desires had evolved over the 50 years since the book’s publication. To explore this, I invited women worldwide to share their sexual fantasies, creating a new collection for a new generation.

For me, sex has never been a static experience. It evolves with every phase of my life, influenced by my thoughts and feelings, not just actions. As an actor, my job allows me to immerse myself in alternate realities—an exercise that closely resembles indulging in fantasies. The characters I portray often teach me about sex and sexuality.

If I’m honest, there are two sides to me, as perhaps there are to many women: the assertive side that communicates desires, and the more reserved side that can be reticent unless prompted by a partner. Is this hesitation due to shame, a lack of trust, or a fear of being fully knowable? Many of us grapple with these questions.

My hope for the new book is that it will spark a conversation about sexual power, especially for women. Sexual liberation should mean enjoying sex on our terms, expressing what we want without societal pressure or expectation. One thing is certain: sexual fantasies remain vital and healthy parts of our lives, empowering us to articulate and achieve our true desires.

Romanian, in a relationship, bisexual

One of my most meaningful sexual fantasies emerged from frustrations with religious dogma. In Orthodox Christianity, women are not allowed to enter the altar. This fantasy blossomed as I distanced myself from religion. Before I die, I want to find an empty church and have a man go down on me on the altar, my moans echoing in the room. Sometimes, I fantasize about a young priest willing to do this, believing sex to be one of life’s most spiritual experiences.

Scottish, married, pansexual

My husband and I have been together for 13 years, married for 12. Our sex life dwindled due to his severe depression and the impact of his overbearing mother. To cope, I created an elaborate fantasy world where I survive zombie apocalypses or live as a witch in a magical realm. Despite the lack of physical intimacy, my fantasies helped me survive emotionally challenging years.

Undisclosed location, single, heterosexual

My recurring fantasy involves a dominant man—affluent, skilled in bed, the “Christian Grey” type. All my previous boyfriends were inexperienced and needed mothering. In my fantasy, I am submissive, pleasured beyond belief.

New Zealander, married, pansexual

I have two main fantasies. In one, I’m a younger, thinner version of myself dating Harry Styles. In the other, my partner and another woman are involved in a sexual encounter. Both fantasies bring me to tears, conflicting with my feelings in reality.

Australian, in a relationship, bisexual

I imagine myself as a machine, rhythmically moving and producing nutrients. Lovers consume me, and I am vital to their survival. This fantasy of being devoured and sustaining others captivates me deeply.

Chinese, single, heterosexual

My deepest fantasy is a man who is genuinely kind to me, taking care of my needs in bed. I don’t want grand gestures; I long for genuine, considerate intimacy.

Mestiza Ecuadorian, single, bisexual

I fantasize about having a penis. I love my femininity but wish to experience sex from a male perspective, combining care and desire.

British, married, bisexual

My favorite fantasy involves entering a room through a mirror where I find another version of myself. This self-exploration allows for total freedom and lack of self-consciousness, a concept I find incredibly appealing.

This is an edited extract from “Want: Sexual Fantasies By Anonymous,” collected by Gillian Anderson.

Source: The Guardian