I recently experienced the rarest of things – a midlife crush

An adult crush is like a rare creature that you know exists but rarely encounter. I’m not referring to a crush on a celebrity or influencer.

“On TikTok?!” I exclaimed when my friend’s 24-year-old daughter told me about her online crushes.

As a Gen Xer, I felt the urge to shake her into reality.

“No, not on your phone,” I sighed. Shaking my head, I explained, “I’m talking about a real-life, in-the-flesh, human-to-human crush!”

She gazed at me perplexedly, like I just told her I still use Facebook or drink cow’s milk.

“I work remotely and date online. Where would I find a ‘real-life’ crush?” she asked, using air quotes.

“I’m Gen X,” I muttered to myself, feeling the generational rift. She added, “We don’t hang out in bars and clubs to meet people like your generation did, Shanti.”

“We weren’t a bunch of bar flies. It was just the weekends,” I retorted. “Maybe the occasional weekday, but usually later in the week like Wednesday or Thursday.”

Truth be told, sometimes it was even a Monday if there was a three-day weekend.

Our human interactions have dwindled significantly. More and more, we find ourselves working, dating, shopping, and even exercising online. This leaves little room to observe people in their natural settings – to see how they interact with others and their surroundings. Physical proximity, a crucial element for developing a real-life crush, is becoming rare.

A crush can be such a simple pleasure, a mysterious morsel that makes everything brighter.

She’s right; where would she find one? We’ve replaced fertile crush terrain with a digital wasteland filled with texting, streaming, and scrolling.

I’ve ignored social engagements for a night with my iPad or spent hours swiping on dating apps. Are crushes becoming obsolete? Have they aged out like defunct Apple chargers? I believe in finding romance organically.

Recently, I experienced a real-life crush on day two of a five-day rafting trip. At first, extreme giddiness and unexplained friskiness had me questioning whether it was a new strain of Covid or menopause.

Then it hit me: it was a crush. A real-life, in-the-flesh, human-to-human crush.

It had been so long since I felt one that I had forgotten the simple pleasure it brings. It was like rediscovering a part of my younger self.

The anatomy of a midlife crush is different. At 54, I find myself less self-conscious and surprisingly more confident.

I’m not obsessed with whether he likes me or what his friends and family think. Instead, I ponder practical questions: “What Netflix series would we binge?” “Does he snore?” “Is he a good spooner?” and “Is he lactose intolerant?”

I don’t feel the urgency to rush to the finish line. I’m more interested in enjoying the ride and taking in the scenery.

Even if my crush is unrequited, I’m content to savor the moment. We need all the pleasure we can get these days, no matter how fleeting.

Source: The Guardian