It’s 2024 and I Might Be the Last Person Watching The Walking Dead.

I never watched The Walking Dead when it first aired in 2010, because I thought I didn’t like zombies. Then I met a work experience kid who seemed to know everything. She didn’t explicitly tell me to watch it; she just expressed sadness that I hadn’t. It turns out my introduction to zombies (Shaun of the Dead, Zombies, World War Z) had been with the wrong ones.

Fast forward to 2024, and I’m the last person on earth to see The Walking Dead. Now, all I want to talk about is zombie lore and character arcs, yet everyone else has moved on. How come we still haven’t clarified basic zombie facts? Do zombies prefer living indoors or outdoors? What do they taste like? If there’s inter-zombie solidarity, evident from their synchronized movements, are they sad when other zombies die? If zombies cannot die naturally and presumably can’t starve, why are they always so hungry?

If their blood is poisonous, why isn’t it more concerning when it splashes on you? Early seasons depicted zombies as incredibly hard to kill, but by season eight, a mere twig to the ear suffices. And just how lucky is Andrew Lincoln, really?

This obsession is messing with my peripheral vision. Whenever I pass a thin person with an uneven gait, I instinctively look for something sharp. My brother had a similar obsession but took a different route. He spent ages evaluating new places for post-apocalyptic suitability. However, he moved on years ago, forgetting most details except that he decided some spot in Devon was ideal for water but poor for looting—unless antiques were urgently needed. He’s somewhat willing to discuss this and the broader zombie universe, but it’s not all he wants to talk about, making him no use to me. The moral? Watch things as they air.