Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck’s Relationship Mistake, Says Therapist

Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck are reportedly separating just two years after their highly publicized wedding. On Tuesday, coinciding with the couple’s wedding anniversary, Lopez filed for divorce, citing their date of separation as April 26.

Friend of Lopez informed Page Six that the rekindled relationship with Affleck served primarily as an expensive “exercise in closure” for the singer. This friend noted that Lopez felt she had unresolved issues from their past relationship, leading her back to Affleck.

A couples therapist, speaking to Business Insider, pointed out a common mistake couples often make in seeking closure. According to her, reconnecting with an ex is not necessary for finding closure and can result in repeating past mistakes if the underlying issues are not addressed.

The couple first became romantically involved in 2002 after meeting on the set of the film “Gigli.” Their initial engagement ended in 2004, and both subsequently married, had children, and divorced other partners before reestablishing their relationship in 2021.

Lopez has previously mentioned that intense media scrutiny played a role in the end of their first romance. Despite their breakup, they maintained a connection through email over the years and have admitted to holding a special place for each other in their hearts.

Landis Bejar, a wedding and couples therapist, discussed how a lack of closure can have lasting impacts on future romantic endeavors. She explained that without closure, individuals might idealize their past relationships despite knowing the reasons for the breakup.

“Even if you’re clear on why it ended, you can still romanticize the relationship,” Bejar said. “This often leads to an unrealistic view of what was once a reality.”

Bejar describes closure as involving three key elements: accepting the end of a relationship, understanding why it ended, and feeling motivated to move forward. The process of moving on can involve either dating others or finding comfort in being single.

Reconnecting with an ex can suggest unfinished business or a failure to fully acknowledge the relationship’s conclusion. If both partners do not honestly evaluate their roles in the breakup, they risk repeating the same dynamics in future relationships.

Although Lopez expressed that both she and Affleck have matured since their first relationship, it’s unclear if they truly confronted the reasons for their previous breakup when they reconciled. In February 2022, Lopez conveyed that her renewed relationship with Affleck felt “very different” from their earlier romance.

Lopez shared with People magazine that the connection feels enriched with appreciation and celebration, and she praised Affleck’s personal growth during their time apart. “He is everything I always knew he could be,” she remarked, indicating a sense of fulfilled potential in Affleck.

Bejar emphasizes that many individuals fall for the “myth of closure,” mistakenly believing they must interact with their former partner to achieve it. Media often portrays closure as a necessary confrontation, but Bejar argues that this can be achieved through personal reflection and therapeutic practices.

“People often seek what they see as necessary conversations about closure,” Bejar explained. However, true closure involves personal work rather than solely relying on the involvement of an ex. Neither Lopez nor Affleck have explicitly stated that their reunion was driven by a lack of closure.

Affleck himself refrained from elaborating on the specifics of their reconnection, choosing instead to express that their reunion was a reflection of personal growth and authenticity. Despite the path that led them back together, both Lopez and Affleck need to find genuine closure in order to move on effectively. Without understanding and reconciling their past, they may risk finding themselves in a similar cyclical pattern years down the line.