Jennifer Lopez on Why She Wants a Partner Who ‘Wears the Pants’

When Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck were together the first time, Lopez mentioned that Affleck “wore the pants” in their relationship. This statement raised some eyebrows, considering Lopez’s well-known driven nature. She further explained that her career demands make her appreciate a more traditional dynamic in her romantic life, where she can step back a bit.

In a 2003 joint interview as an engaged couple, Lopez clearly stated that Affleck was the one who “wears the pants” in their relationship. “Ben wears the pants,” Lopez told Access Hollywood. “He definitely wears the pants. We respect each other and that’s the important thing.”

Later that year, Lopez went into more detail about her comments. She mentioned that due to her demanding career, she yearns for someone to take care of her in her personal life. “It’s about being able to feel safe somewhere,” she told W Magazine. “That doesn’t mean I’m not a strong, independent woman. But I think when you’re in a relationship, you have to submit to a certain extent.”

Her drive and relentless work ethic have been well-documented by those close to her. “I’ve never seen anybody work as hard as her,” said Elaine Goldsmith-Thomas, her longtime work partner. “She worked for every opportunity she’s ever had. She wasn’t given anything.”

Lopez often describes herself as a workaholic, driven by a need to prove herself. “I’m not one of those media darlings,” she shared with Harper’s Bazaar. “I didn’t get kissed into this business. I’m from the Bronx. I had to find my way, so I’ve always felt like I had to prove myself. Maybe that’s a good drive to have. I never settle for mediocre.”

Lopez views relationships with a traditional lens, believing men and women have different approaches. She suggests that women are more focused on building and maintaining a home life compared to men. “It’s the difference between ‘me’ and ‘we,’” she explained. “Men operate from their own universe, and women are focused on family, keeping it together. Because we’re caretakers by nature — we give birth, we have to take care of that baby — and men don’t have that experience.”

She contrasted this with men, who she believed are more inclined towards working and earning money. “They have to bring home the bacon, that kind of stuff,” she said. “Those are different sensibilities.”

Despite her views on traditional roles in relationships, Lopez has always been a significant breadwinner in her romantic partnerships.