Jon Stewart Delivers Bad News to Trump: ‘Biden’s Not Returning’

It’s been three weeks since President Joe Biden withdrew from the 2024 election and endorsed Kamala Harris, and Donald Trump still seems unsettled by the situation.

“A month ago, he was basically already the president,” Stewart joked during his Monday monologue. “He had cheated death, started a new ear accessory trend. Back then, people thought his VP selection was a smart choice. He had it all in the bag, and it was taken away.”

The recurrent Daily Show host reflected on Trump’s recent campaign errors, from his botched “Kamabla” nickname attempt to his fabricated story about a near helicopter crash with former San Francisco mayor Willie Brown. Stewart also showcased clips of Trump’s rallies before and after Biden’s withdrawal, expressing disappointment that Trump’s rhetoric had hardly evolved.

“Look man, if you want us to genuinely fear your opponent as the existential threat you’d like to make them out to be, you’re going to have to do better than boilerplate, cut-and-paste stuff,” Stewart advised. “You’re better than this, Donald.”

Stewart continued, “I hate to say it: I don’t think Trump has got it in him to go after Kamala Harris. He’s been fighting Joe Biden for six years… It’s like seeing an old man talking to an empty spot on the bench, and then you realize: that’s where his wife used to sit.”

In the final segment of his monologue, Stewart delivered some hard truths to Trump about Biden: “He’s not coming back, Donald. Hey, you know how I know he’s not coming back? We have a camera on him. That’s him. He’s just sitting there at the beach, having an Arnold Palmer.”

Stewart jokingly conceded that, although it seems like Biden is ready to enjoy his retirement, there’s still a chance Trump could turn things around.

“Kamala Harris accepts the nomination next Thursday night, which means it may be time to get the gang together,” Stewart said. “Storm the convention. Pull an August 22nd, this time on behalf of Joe Biden.”

Stewart added, “All you need is thousands of supporters who have not yet been sent to jail for being part of the last mob. Or who got sent to jail so early in the process they’re already out.”

“If only there was a sign of the righteousness of this cause,” Stewart mused, before sharing the news that the so-called “QAnon Shaman” Jacob Chansley, who stormed the Capitol on January 6, was getting his helmet and spear returned by the government.

“Shaman, don thy fur helmet!” Stewart declared. “We ride on! For Biden!”

Read more at The Daily Beast.