María Zardoya of the Marías Relives Her Breakup Every Night

The chanting crowd’s “otra” fades as a single spotlight reveals María Zardoya. The Marías’ frontwoman lies in a transparent bathtub, microphone in hand, partially submerged in its warm water. The somber piano of “If Only,” a ballad from their second album “Submarine,” fills the Hollywood Forever Cemetery. Zardoya’s voice, melancholic and siren-like, combines with a noir jazz trumpet, creating an eerie atmosphere.

As the song’s final notes fade, Zardoya, 29, retreats below the water’s surface, muffling her surroundings. She is transported back to the moments of heartbreak that inspired “Submarine,” released in May. The record examines the romantic breakup between the group’s founders, Zardoya and drummer-producer Josh Conway.

Before creating the aquatic themes of “Submarine,” the band was unsure if they could navigate such a significant change in dynamics. But through dedication and vulnerability, Zardoya, Conway, guitarist Jesse Perlman, and keyboardist Edward James overcame this shift, resulting in one of the summer’s most renowned breakup albums.

Prior to the Submarine tour’s second L.A. show, I met Zardoya backstage in a shaded tent. Petite and wearing a floor-length dress with a large floral detail, she drinks from a “María’s Bathwater” bottle—a joke within the group and their fans. She recalls feeling the band had overcome their breakup during their show at New York’s Radio City Music Hall a few weeks earlier. The stage setup provided her a new vantage point.

“I had never seen that perspective of the stage before because I’m usually on it. I could see the guys below and I got super emotional and started crying a little bit. I was like, ‘Boys, like, we did it,’” Zardoya said. “It was such a beautiful moment because we overcame so much together and it feels like a family now. We’re stronger than ever.”

But this unity didn’t develop overnight.

Formed in 2016, The Marías quickly found their niche in alternative music. Experimental tracks like “Only in My Dreams” and the bilingual love anthem “Cariño” established their rising reputation. Duality has been their distinguishing feature. As Zardoya writes in both English and Spanish, Conway incorporated Latin influences to authentically represent their sound, creating a unique twist on standard indie music.

“I introduced him to so much Latin music. From just being around my family, the music and the culture, he picked up on things pretty quickly,” Zardoya said. “He knew that it was important for me to showcase this part of who I am. So when he started making this mix of reggaeton and indie psychedelic, things got really interesting.”

The band continued their path with their Grammy-nominated debut album, “Cinema,” in 2021. Their blend of soulful rock, dreamy pop, and Latin rhythms has remained consistent yet inventive over the years. They’ve collaborated with fellow Latin musicians like Bad Bunny, Young Miko, and Tainy.

“We’ve been listening to the Marías since we were young kids in junior high, and integrating Spanish into their genre means a lot to us,” said Andres Garcia, a longtime fan at the L.A. show. “I love how the Marías have still been able to stick to the indie genre while still being who they are. It’s something that I notice a lot of Latino indie artists are doing now.”

During the Hollywood show, Zardoya called out to her “Latino family” and listed various Latin American countries to see who was represented. She’s grateful to share the “experience of being Latin in the U.S.” with her fans. Each night on the Submarine tour, she walks through the crowd while singing. As fans clamor to see her, she is reminded that performing “makes all the moments of heartbreak [behind ‘Submarine’] worth it.”

“Submarine” deeply explores tragic love. Regardless of how upbeat or funky the tracks sound, the lyrics return to life-altering heartbreak. “Love You Anyway,” a track infused with psychedelic rock, features lyrics about eternal love despite separation. The dreamy “Sienna” imagines an alternate timeline where Zardoya and Conway have a child named Sienna who “would’ve been cute” and “would look just like you.”

Writing the album has been humbling for Zardoya. After a seven-year relationship, she faced life differently and turned to Buddhism during her growth.

“What’s changed the most with me is the beauty of embracing the present moment. Nothing lasts forever. The only thing that exists is right here, right now,” Zardoya says. “That’s helped me, even on tour, in the sense of just taking it one thing at a time and not seeing the big picture.”

Zardoya initially thought sharing the album’s emotional labor with the world might help her move on. However, performing it on tour often makes her “relive a trauma” night after night.

“It kind of depends on the night. Some nights I’m like, f— this. I’m tired of dreaming about this. I’m tired of thinking about this. I don’t wanna keep reliving this drama,” Zardoya said. “Then other times I’m like, ‘Thank God I went through it.’ It humbled me as a person. It made me more thankful for life and more tolerant of difficult experiences.”

Balancing between emotional exhaustion and gratitude, Zardoya accepts that the aftermath of her breakup will last longer than usual because she’s in a band with her ex-boyfriend. As she recounts the relationship through the set list each night, she faces a choice.

“I want to emit the emotion of these songs. And in order to get there, I have to re-experience what the song is about. It’s a choice,” says Zardoya. “I could choose to just sing the song and work on moving on from the situation. But I want to feel everything and I want the fans to feel it. Because what’s the point if you’re not?”

The Marías will extend the Submarine tour to Europe in late October with only a few stops remaining in the U.S. Zardoya reveals plans for a follow-up EP to the album. Some of its songs were written alongside the album, while others were written afterward but still belong to the same emotional world.

“I’d say you’re still feeling like you’re underwater, but even more solitude,” says Zardoya. “There’s no bangers. They’re all, like, ‘crying in the club’ songs.”

As the last notes of “Cariño,” the final song in their set, play out, Zardoya rushes to the end of the stage and jumps into the crowd, aiming to crowd-surf. The front section eagerly raises their hands to catch her. As the band continues, she is carried through the packed audience with a smile that’s visible from the crowd’s edges. Instead of conventional breakup comforts, Zardoya finds her solace in the hands of her listeners.

This story originally appeared in the Los Angeles Times.