Mastering Beekeeping: My Crash Course in the Art of the Apiarist

David Beckham and beekeeping are hardly two bedfellows you’d expect, and yet, here we are. Known for sharing his passion with King Charles, my interest has certainly been piqued.

Sadly, I have a tinge of melissophobia, but I decided to overcome my reticence to gain a better understanding of our honey-creating winged friends. I envisioned indulging in the charms of a hotel that promises to put your well-being first, which seemed my best chance at overcoming any misgivings. If I was relaxed enough, surely the bees would be able to sense it.

When thinking of Dublin, I always have flashbacks to a phenomenal New Year I spent with one of my best friends in the seaside town of Dún Laoghaire. A resident there, he showed me around the best eateries and pubs before I finally departed with a head full of happy memories. I’ve always had a fondness for the place.

After 40 minutes weaving through Dublin traffic in a taxi from the airport, it felt as if I was cocooned deep within the lush green Irish countryside. Based in County Kildare, the first sight of Carton House that greets you is the extensive golf course and then the imposingly beautiful vision of the grand hotel itself. They were just putting the finishing touches to the KPMG Women’s Irish Open when I arrived, indicating the world-class quality of the courses.

Carton House is an incredibly grand affair, conjuring up images of nineteenth-century aristocracy where the BBC TV series “Carton House” was filmed and based on Carton’s infamous inhabitants.

As I arrived, I was greeted by the very amiable Jack, who gave me the details of the hotel’s intricacies whilst also showing me to my room. I was assured nothing would ever be a problem. At Carton House, this is a true statement and their staff are true assets to the hotel. Coming from the UK, where sadly our guest experience can be hit-and-miss, Carton gets it spot on with unfeigned sincerity and without any stuffy overtones.

The sprawling and well-manicured grounds conjure up visions of the previous resident, Emilia Mary FitzGerald, Duchess of Leinster, who bore twenty-two children. The gardens provide plenty of hiding places for the Duchess to retreat from the constant attentions of her offspring. Queen Victoria also famously stayed here twice, and you can visit her Chinese Boudoir, which the hotel has kept as a homage to the late monarch.

1. The name ‘Carton’ comes from the old Irish name ‘Baile an Cairthe’ or Land of the Pillar Stone.

2. Walking from one end of the hotel to the other is one kilometer.

3. The boundary wall is over 5.5 miles in length, and the estate itself stretches over two counties, Kildare and Meath.

4. Princess Grace of Monaco, Queen Victoria, and Marianne Faithfull are among Carton House’s famous guests.

5. The Chinese Boudoir was created especially for Queen Victoria during her stays in 1849 and 1897.

I was lucky enough to reside in the manor house itself, although the renovated suites in the modernized area of the hotel are just as luxurious. My room turned out to be the Winter Suite, whose windows opened to reveal a panoramic view of the golf course and gardens. One hot shower later, I was already feeling transcendent but wanted to enhance this feeling further.

The pool and spa facilities are what you would expect from a luxury five-star hotel, with an accompanying gym. I used both daily during my stay with no complaints, although the pool wall’s tiles and mirror were starting to look a little tired. This is a small gripe, though.

Moons Yoga was recommended to me as the next phase of my wellness journey. Guided by the genial Sinéad Mooney, I felt instantly welcomed and put at ease. Sinéad catered to all abilities, ensuring we all had a rewarding experience. The mindfulness session at its conclusion ensured we all departed feeling rested and smiling.

I’ve always felt like a pariah during yoga lessons as it’s not an activity I partake in regularly. It felt unique to be invited and involved from the start with Moons, and I certainly felt the benefits. I felt I was closer to coping with incessant buzzing.

If culinary delights are your want, then you can do no wrong dining at the opulent Morrison Room under the stewardship of Adam Nevin. I went for the tasting menu and was continually mesmerized by the gorgeous plates before me. Raw Irish Scallop was a thing of beauty.

Not content with other wonderful eateries like Katheleen’s Kitchen and The Carriage House, there is also a chance to sample the ‘water of life’ in the gloriously decadent Whiskey Library. Be careful, as your host Richard’s passion for whiskey is contagious, as my sensitive head the next day will attest.

Admittedly, I’m not the biggest fan of afternoon tea. I’ve always found it fussy and overrated, plus I lack a sweet tooth. But when presented with a menu based on the famous personalities who have graced Carton House, I had to try their offering.

A glass of bubbly later, I devoured the Queen Victoria sponge and the stunning Stanley Kubrick orange chocolate cheesecake. Fashionistas will be agog at the artistry involved in creating a peanut butter ganache chocolate replica of Grace Kelly’s Hermès Kelly handbag. I still cannot fathom how they created this little masterpiece.

The morning of my beekeeping experience arrived, and I have to admit that the wellness experience I had partaken in had me feeling less anxious than expected. Upon meeting Carton House’s beekeeper, Thomas Clancy, any other worries were quickly put to rest.

Thomas is a methodical and knowledgeable gentleman with years of experience. He guided aspiring novices to beekeeping excellence. All our group’s questions were answered as he educated us on hives and how they operate. We then donned protective gear and accompanied Thomas to the hives.

I was allowed to be the smoker of the bees and as we approached, I flinched at the odd buzz near my head. However, this trepidation turned to fascination as we were involved in real beekeeping tasks.

We held honeycombs with a myriad of bees crawling peacefully, creating honey. I found a newfound respect with replaced my previous fear. We placed a ‘blocker’ to stop the Queen from entering the top of the hive so that honey could be collected later, and I was amazed by the intricacies and art of the process.

Tasting the honey produced by the bees after our experience was a sheer delight. I have resolved to only purchase locally sourced honey, as opposed to the corn syrup you might find in your local supermarket. It was equally a necessity to bring some home.

The experience of Carton House was one I won’t forget in a hurry. What elevates the experience is the people they are lucky enough to employ there. The wellness you can attain is enhanced by those who bring it to you with no airs or graces. Without them, there’s a chance I wouldn’t have ventured near a hive even in protective gear. Thanks to the team and Thomas’s guidance, I finally see what the beekeeping fuss is about and I’m buzzing.