Media Misrepresentation, Not Wealth, Is Erasing Hannah Neeleman’s True Self

Two years ago, I expressed my dismay about Hulu’s portrayal of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints in “Under the Banner of Heaven.” It presented men in the Church in a way that was completely alien to my own experiences. Multiple historians and church members highlighted the historical inaccuracies that formed the basis of the narrative, including Brenda Lafferty’s sister, who lamented how the show disrespected her sister’s memory.

McKay Coppins, writing for The Atlantic, noted that nearly every aspect of the show was unrecognizable to him as a lifelong member of the church. He said, “To say that I have never met a Mormon in my life who talks like this would be to miss the point.” The columnist suggested that the portrayals served to reinforce stereotypes and sensationalize the faith, rather than accurately depict it.

This week, Hannah Neeleman, of the popular Instagram account Ballerina Farm, responded to a recent article about her family in The Times. She described it as an “attack on (her) family and (her) marriage” that was “further from the truth.” The Neelemans had agreed to be interviewed by The Times and initially believed it had gone well, but they were shocked by the final article.

No matter one’s thoughts on Neeleman and her popularity, she provided the journalist with comprehensive access to her life. Yet, the article depicted her as a victim of a fundamentalist religion, a despotic husband, and eccentric children. This one-dimensional portrayal was as unrealistic as some characters in TV miniseries. The article’s most striking flaw was its lack of curiosity. We don’t learn fundamental things about the Neelemans, like why they started Ballerina Farm, their future goals, or their life on a rural ranch. Instead, trivial details like the number of epidurals Hannah had, her maid, and the storage of her pageant gowns in the garage dominated the narrative.

As a mother of four, I can relate to having stuff, both literally and metaphorically, stored in the garage. Every time Megan Agnew pointed out a child interrupting the conversation, I cringed. In my own life, it’s rare to get through a phone call without my children interjecting.

Life with small children can appear chaotic, but in Utah, it’s common to be honest about motherhood’s struggles without facing condescension. Here, the joys of family life are a given, and interruptions from children are understood as part of something bigger and more rewarding. This context, which was glaringly absent in Neeleman’s interview, is essential for accurately depicting someone like her.

The Times article, which referred to Hannah Neeleman as “the queen of the ‘trad wives,’” wasn’t really about her. It was more about the debate on women’s roles. This focus overshadowed Neeleman, who explicitly stated in the interview that she doesn’t identify as a “trad wife.”

“Trad wife” is a term fraught with controversy, often describing women embracing rigid gender roles, sometimes linked to female submissiveness. Much of this content is intentionally provocative, bizarrely pigeonholing women’s roles, and sexualizing domesticity, making it clear why Neeleman avoids the label.

It’s understandable to question the authenticity and value of “trad wife” content. Mary Harrington wrote about Lauren Southern, a former “tradlife” influencer whose romanticized view of traditional roles led her into an abusive marriage. This serves as a reminder of the dangers of oversimplified roles.

On the other side, there are those dissatisfied with the breakdown of traditional family structures. Alena Kate Pettitt spoke about realizing she wanted to be a homemaker after her parents separated, contrasting her grandparents’ warm home with her mother’s working single parenthood drudgery. For such individuals, the clarity and structure of traditional roles provide a refuge from modern life’s chaos.

When “trad wife” content becomes theatrical, it risks turning family life into a farce. Instead of condemning the Neelemans for their privileges, perhaps we should appreciate the beauty and hard work they display in their fulfilling family life. Their portrayal might be idealized, but it showcases the rewards of commitment and togetherness.

Source: Deseret News, The Atlantic