Review of Jordan Stephens’ ‘Avoidance, Drugs, Heartbreak and Dogs’ – Intense Truths

Jordan Stephens’ memoir echoes the sentiments of two well-known songs: Jimmy Ruffin’s “What Becomes of the Broken Hearted” and Bob and Marcia’s “Young, Gifted and Black.” According to Stephens, being young, gifted, and Black often comes with its own price tag. Besides the superficial glamour, the fame brings a burdensome “desire to fuck everything,” potentially harming one’s mental health.

Previously, Stephens has been candid about his battles with mental illness and ADHD, as part of his online campaign #IAMWHOLE. Now, he translates those struggles into his memoir. However, the acronym does not stand for “attention deficit hyperactivity disorder” in this context. Instead, A stands for avoidance, D for drugs (where “cocaine cushioned the chaos” of life), H for heartbreak, and D for dogs—his dog being notably “incredibly chill” and potentially Buddhist.

The memoir depicts the artist as a troubled, self-centered young man thrust into the spotlight as one half of the teenage rap duo Rizzle Kicks. While the early days were filled with the thrill of fame and a debut album selling over 600,000 copies, adulthood presented Stephens with new challenges. Conflicts with family and friends, alongside indulging in reckless behavior like following strangers to a celebrity’s house just to consume more drugs, were unfortunately common.

Early in the book, Stephens positions himself for the arduous job of introspection. He admits he’s starting in the mud and working up. Understanding there might be hurt feelings among those he reveals details about, he stands by the belief that “Shit had to change. I had to grow up and confront the gods.”

Despite his dog’s calm demeanor, Stephens is anything but chill, primarily due to his lingering grief over the breakup with his girlfriend Chloe. The infidelity he confessed—a meaningless one-night stand—resulted in Chloe ending things, leaving him puzzled and in agony. Convinced the limits of his mind equate to the limits of the world, he navigates his mental landscape in search of answers. Therapy, for him, was another source of confusion, noting his initial session felt like wasted time.

As the narrative unfolds, it becomes clear that Stephens is on a quest to find the adult in the room, though he recognizes it’s not him. Months later, he’s still tormented over Chloe, hoping she could see his mistake as a one-time error and extend some compassion his way.

To Stephens’ credit, he sees the importance of improving his emotional intelligence. In this sense, the book serves as a rebuttal to figures like Andrew Tate, who equate sexism with realism. In one episode, Stephens confronts a homophobe at the gym with a sharp retort that leaves the man speechless.

Known for his provocative style, Stephens’ writing mirrors the cadence of his speech. The book brims with concise sentences that reflect the restless rhythm of his ADHD, making the prose feel like a bumpy yet engaging journey through his thoughts.

While Avoidance, Drugs, Heartbreak and Dogs is a captivating read, Stephens remains somewhat enigmatic by the end. However, he seems to draw hope from Ruffin’s lyrics: “Nothing’s gonna stop me now / I’ll find a way somehow.”

Source: The Observer