Sad Boy TikTok Offers Comfort to Depressed Men

The video starts with a close-up of a man’s face as he navigates a rural road. Ahead of him, a giant logging truck roars along. His face lights up with a knowing smile, contemplating life and death in just 11 seconds.

“Me too bro, me too,” comments one user out of hundreds, on a TikTok that has garnered over 2.2 million views. “I’ve never felt more connected to another human being,” adds another. “We’re tired,” writes yet another.

This viral video, referencing a death scene from Final Destination 2, is part of a growing trend addressing male sadness on social media. For years, social media has been a venue for open discussions about mental health, but men have often been missing from these conversations. Today, videos about male mental health are attracting millions of views.

Men smiling through their pain is a recurring theme in these videos, often accompanied by isolation and loneliness. One account daily posts a video of Jake Gyllenhaal crying on the phone when asked if he’s okay. Another video features a scene from a game where a man stumbles through fog, labeled as the “average male experience.”

There’s this idea among men that we’re alone in our suffering because we’ve been told to keep these things in for so long.

Thomas Austin, a therapist specializing in men’s mental health based in Denver, points out that many men feel increasingly isolated due to societal pressures to keep their emotions to themselves. These videos offer an alternative form of therapy for those who might otherwise avoid it.

“I think it shows you that there are millions of guys out there that are really hurting,” says JR Harvey, a men’s mental health creator with 1.6 million followers. “They feel lost in our society right now. They feel like they don’t have anyone to talk to, or anyone who will acknowledge their problems,” he adds.

Harvey began creating men’s mental health content after losing his job during the pandemic. As he encountered similar videos, he noticed how the algorithm began catering to his interests. His content delves into male loneliness, masculinity, and fatherhood, often using scenes from movies and TV shows with moody music and captions like, “Not sad, not happy, just empty.”

“Some people would joke around with me and call it Sad Boy TikTok,” says Harvey.

Other creators tackle topics such as suicide with little to no filter, filling their pages with dark, often cinematic works. Despite varying in style and tone, the message is clear: men are not okay.

Bryce Spencer-Jones, a mental health advocate and podcaster with over 800,000 followers, believes men are drawn to this content because they don’t feel comfortable sharing their feelings in real life. “Breaking out of that stigma and letting people know what you’re going through is valid. It’s a way to shift that cycle a little bit and open up the conversation,” he says.

The reluctance by men to seek help is partly due to societal pressures to “toughen up.” This creates a vicious cycle of isolation and sadness. Nearly 1 in 10 men experience depression or anxiety, according to Mental Health America, but less than half receive treatment. Suicide rates among men are nearly four times higher than women.

Spencer-Jones knows this firsthand, having lost a friend to suicide. “The best way to change is to first bring awareness to it. That’s what I try to do with my social media,” he says.

Thomas Austin emphasizes that social media has intensified feelings of inadequacy among men. Content aimed at men either glorifies extreme success – like owning a Ferrari – or dwells on depression and sadness. “You won’t see a father with a healthy work-life balance coming home and playing with his kids because it’s just not exciting and engaging,” Austin notes.

The dichotomy of online content creates a perpetual cycle. “Work really hard. Get burned out. Be depressed for a while. Get some motivation. Work way too hard,” Austin explains.

Harvey aims to guide his followers toward a healthier mental space. He has formed a community of around 1,700 people on the Discord messaging app and holds weekly calls where about 150 men discuss their feelings. He finds solace in creating these videos.

“I think the act of creating is very therapeutic in general — just being able to express yourself. I think it was something that was missing in my life before,” Harvey says. “It just opens up different doorways in your mind.”

If you or someone you know needs mental health assistance in the USA, call the National Suicide Prevention Helpline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255). The Helpline is free, confidential, and available 24/7. For assistance in other countries, visit www.befrienders.org. In the UK, you can reach The Samaritans at 116 123 (UK and ROI) or email [email protected].

Source: The Independent