Taylor Swift’s Music Reconnected My Daughter and Me After We Grew Apart

My daughter and I began our journey with Taylor Swift’s music when she was quite young. Over the years, however, she grew apart from me and her love for Swift’s music. Now as an adult, Taylor Swift’s Eras Tour has once again helped us reconnect.

We decorated the minivan with chalk paint, writing “We heart Taylor Swift,” and set off for her Speak Now tour. The experience, which I initially deemed “too much money for a 9-year-old,” turned out to be an unforgettable Christmas present. Armed with binoculars, we joined other mother-daughter pairs, first stopping at McDonald’s for Happy Meals. We tailgated in the parking lot, munching on chicken McNuggets and sipping pre-mixed cocktails.

Settled in our seats near the back row, we awaited Swift’s grand entrance. As Taylor Swift took the stage, I watched my daughter’s excitement through her binoculars; she would scream, glance at her cousin, and then scream some more. She was entirely engrossed in the performance, and witnessing her unfiltered joy made the moment profoundly special for me too. It felt like I was experiencing my first concert all over again.

As my daughter entered her adolescent years, our connection waned, but the Eras Tour provided a new opportunity to bond.

In those growing years, I often found myself struggling to connect with my daughter. I recall preparing for a conversation about menstruation, assembling a box of feminine products, an age-appropriate book, and some fun items like hair ties and lip gloss. I sat on her bed to discuss it, but her dismissive reaction—tossing the box aside and wishing I were more like my mom—left me utterly deflated.

Despite the sting of that moment and advice from other moms to not take it personally, I pressed on because that’s what parents do.

We saw Taylor Swift again when my daughter was 11 and 13, attending the Red and 1989 tours. Each concert was another chance for us to connect, even though I frequently questioned the financial justification. During these years, she changed rapidly—switching to contact lenses, growing out her hair, and embracing teenage fads like making duck faces in photos. This period felt like it passed in the blink of an eye.

By the time Taylor Swift’s Reputation Tour rolled around in 2018, my daughter was in her sophomore year of high school and showed little interest in attending. Her tastes had evolved—I now found her leaning towards artists like Wiz Khalifa and Travis Scott. Concerts became solo or friend-centered experiences, further widening the gap between us.

I often missed the Swift-loving child who once delighted in our shared concert experiences. Although I tried to connect with my daughter through her favored books and TV shows, she preferred to navigate her teenage heartaches and friendships without my interference. Our disagreements mostly centered around her readiness to attend events or hangouts, exacerbating our strained relationship.

One particularly memorable fight involved her determination to visit a friend’s house against my wishes. Feeling the unfamiliar role of an enforcer, I physically blocked her path down the stairs. The altercation ended with me walking away, feeling out of control and deeply conflicted.

Throughout it all, her independent streak remained evident. Even at 5 years old, she confidently handled restaurant orders better than we did, a trait that both impressed and frustrated me in equal measure.

Fast forward to 2023 and the Eras Tour. My now 21-year-old daughter had finished her junior year of college and was preparing to move to a big city. Our traditionally quiet and lonely long car rides surprised me this time. We tuned into Taylor Swift and talked about the concert the night before, bonding over both old favorites and newer, more mature tracks.

We reminisced about songs like “Mean” and “Never Ever Getting Back Together,” which felt like revisiting old friends. My daughter shared stories from her college life, and I was careful not to bombard her with questions, allowing our conversation to flow naturally and meaningfully.

The Eras Tour and its thematic maturity mirrored the evolution of my relationship with my daughter. Taylor Swift, like us, had grown. She now performed with sophistication, reflecting her own journey through life, much like my daughter’s transformation from child to independent adult.

Parenting has presented many challenges, but finding ways to connect—like through Taylor Swift concerts—has been rewarding. At 22, my daughter no longer winces when I play “22” on her birthday, and she even asked for my opinion on Swift’s latest album. These small moments of connection are significant.

Whether Taylor Swift remains a touchstone in our relationship or not, the singer’s music has undeniably facilitated important connections between us. Occasionally, a text about a new album reminds me of our shared journey, and that’s something I cherish deeply.

Source: Business Insider