The Allure of the ‘Tradwife’ Fantasy: Why Are We So Drawn to It?

The rise of the “tradwife” phenomenon presents numerous unsettling issues. From their fascist undertones to regressive gender politics, these women, who portray an idealized homemaker life online, make this lifestyle look incredibly appealing. Tradwives cook, clean, raise children, and document these tasks meticulously, gaining millions of followers and significant income along the way.

Hannah Neeleman, the face behind Ballerina Farm, epitomizes the tradwife movement. A Mormon dancer turned beauty pageant winner and mother of eight, Neeleman has amassed around 18 million followers across Instagram, TikTok, and YouTube. She’s renowned for her picturesque life, where she bakes pies, milks cows directly into her coffee, and performed in the “Mrs World” pageant just 12 days after giving birth by candlelight.

While men are generally absent in the public portrayal of a tradwife’s life, Neeleman’s husband, the heir to an airline fortune, was vocal in a recent interview, emphasizing their belief that they are on a divine mission. This presentation of their life captivates audiences, offering a mesmerizing, if not surreal, escape. Another notable tradwife is 22-year-old Nara Smith, whose videos where she makes grilled cheese from curds and homemade fizzy coke in evening gowns, exemplify an exquisite form of performance art.

Even for those who hold progressive views—pro-choice, pro-vaccines, and pro-women’s financial independence—these videos hold an inexplicable allure. The pristine countertops and meticulously arranged details speak to a deeper issue. It’s not merely about fewer babies being born or women neglecting homemaker roles. Rather, it highlights the chaos that has enveloped modern domestic life.

The pandemic exacerbated this chaos, with schools closed, parents juggling remote work from cramped homes, and loved ones falling ill. Many women found themselves overwhelmed, breaking down under the pressure of balancing work and household responsibilities. Despite the ostensible sharing of domestic duties by partners, it became clear that women still carried a disproportionate burden of childcare, cleaning, cooking, and maintaining relationships.

Tradwife fantasies offer a tempting escape with their simplistic portrayal of a bygone era. The mother’s primary responsibility in these roles seems reduced to baking beautiful loaves of bread or arranging wildflowers, presenting an illusion of straightforward exchanges of care and security. This radical fantasy appeals because it sweeps complex ambitions, politics, and realities under the proverbial rug.

Rather than focusing solely on the anti-feminist agenda or the regressive subservience, it’s crucial to understand why these nostalgic, wholesome videos resonate so strongly today. Despite the dangerous ideologies they may subtly promote, such as anti-traditional medicine sentiments and far-right views, there’s an undeniable appeal to their content. Their portrayal of domestic labor taps into a longing for simplicity and balance, revealing the imbalances in supposedly liberated, modern lives.

The influence of tradwife content quietly awakens dissatisfaction amongst working women and feminists. Though they may never dream of reducing their lives to the confines of a kitchen, these videos reflect an imbalance that many recognize in their own lives after watching the seemingly effortless performance of domesticity.

Source: New York Times, Redux, Eyevine