The film ‘It Ends With Us’ criticized for glamorizing domestic abuse

Colleen Hoover’s bestselling novel It Ends With Us has been adapted into a film, starring Blake Lively and Justin Baldoni. Despite its star-studded cast, the film is under fire for appearing to glamorize domestic abuse.

The film, inspired by Hoover’s parents’ relationship, tells the story of florist Lily Bloom and neurosurgeon Ryle Kincaid. During their relationship, Kincaid evolves from charismatic to physically and emotionally abusive. Bloom ultimately ends the relationship, promising her daughter that the cycle of violence “ends with us,” tying back to the film’s title.

However, promotional materials have raised concerns about the film’s portrayal of abuse.

“The trailer does a disservice to the fact that this could really raise awareness,” said activist and domestic violence survivor Ashley Bendiksen. “It seems to just gloss over what the movie’s actually about.”

One trailer, set to Ethel Cain’s song “Strangers,” gives the impression of a typical romance film, showing Lively and Baldoni’s characters in a romantic relationship. It teases a love triangle and a fight between two male characters, with a brief scene of Kincaid’s rage as he breaks furniture.

The full story is much darker, featuring incidents like Bloom being pushed down stairs and nearly raped by Kincaid.

“When we use trauma as entertainment, it can feel exploitative, irresponsible, and tone-deaf to the actual issue,” Bendiksen added.

Despite criticism, the film, released on Aug. 9, has earned $242 million globally. However, its promotional campaign has been met with backlash.

In a promotional video posted on Instagram, a smiling Lively alongside author Hoover encourages viewers to “grab your friends, wear your florals and head out to see it.” Florals refer to Bloom’s flower shop in the film.

Comments on the video criticized Lively’s upbeat tone and the attempt to market the film as a lighthearted love story.

“As someone who lived through DV as a child, ‘grab your friends, wear your florals’ is a terrible phrase to use about a film of this nature,” one commenter wrote.

Another signed off with, “You had an opportunity to turn this into something beautiful for women who suffer every day. Shame on you and your PR team for turning a blind eye.”

Many comments praised Baldoni for his more sensitive approach to promoting the story.

In an interview on his Instagram page, Baldoni shared that viewers should always have hope.

“Everyone has the ability to end a cycle they didn’t ask for. We can all say, ‘It ends with us’ in our lives,” Baldoni expressed.

Baldoni directed the film, with Lively serving as a producer.

“Thank you so much for being the ONLY person on this cast promoting the actual point of this film,” a commenter acknowledged.

Another added, “It’s funny to me how the person portraying the offender is the only one making the point of the actual story.”

Brandon Sklenar, who plays Baldoni’s romantic rival, stated that the cast was aware of the responsibility of telling a story about domestic abuse.

“Trust me when I say, no one involved in making this film was unaware of the responsibility towards women who have experienced generational trauma, domestic abuse, or struggle with self-love,” Sklenar stated in a post on Instagram.

Comments on that post were turned off, but criticism spread to unrelated posts, with people chastising the cast for their tone-deaf promotions.

“Your recent post perpetuates how TONE DEAF this whole cast is (except Justin). We don’t want to hear you defend each other. How about apologizing and addressing the real issue – domestic violence,” wrote one frustrated user.

Hoover, in another interview with Lively, mentioned that she felt the film had stayed “faithful” to the story she wrote.

Obbie West, a spoken-word artist and advocate for domestic abuse victims, said the film’s presentation could trigger abuse survivors.

“Before my presentations or trainings, I give a trigger warning for sensitive content to help those who might be triggered identify who can support them,” West explained.

The film’s trailers lack such trigger warnings.

“Presenting this movie as a love story without warning can lead to audiences being unexpectedly triggered,” West noted.

West warned that framing the movie as a love story could be harmful, especially to young people without a healthy understanding of love, making it harder to recognize abuse.

“If we keep presenting love this way, it normalizes and desensitizes abuse for developing children,” West emphasized.

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