Woman defends decision not to babysit brother’s kids after home damage

A woman has garnered support online for refusing to babysit her brother’s children after experiencing chaos and damage during a previous visit.

In a viral post on the popular forum “Am I the A**hole,” the woman, age 32, questioned if her decision was wrong following a traumatic incident with her brother’s children. She shared her frustration over how their weekend visit turned her home, which she worked hard to keep tidy, into a disaster.

The woman’s brother, 34, has three children aged ten, eight, and six. A few months back, he approached her, asking if his children could stay the weekend as he and his wife needed some time off. The woman agreed, hoping for a chance to bond with her niece and nephews. Unfortunately, reality took a different turn.

Describing the experience, she wrote that the children “went absolutely wild.” They caused damage to several items, including breaking a cherished vase that had sentimental value, spilling juice on her white couch, and even drawing on the walls with markers. Despite her best efforts to set boundaries, the kids ignored her requests.

When she informed her brother about the destruction, he dismissed her concerns with laughter, telling her, “kids will be kids.” He didn’t offer assistance in cleaning up or replacing any items that were broken, leaving her feeling hurt and overlooked.

Recently, her brother repeated his request for the children to stay over again, but this time, she flatly refused, expressing that she did not want to endure the mess once more.

Her brother reacted negatively, accusing her of punishing his kids and claiming she was being unfair. This situation drew in their parents, who suggested that she should “be the bigger person” and help her brother out. They insisted the children were sorry and just wanted to spend time with their aunt, yet the woman felt traumatized by her last experience.

Turning to Reddit for advice, she asked if she was wrong for refusing another visit. The community’s response was overwhelmingly supportive.

The most prominent comment firmly stated, “You are not these children’s parent, and they do not live in your home. You have no obligation to care for them except in an emergency.” This advice resonated with many who highlighted that her feelings were valid, given her prior experience.

The commenter suggested that if the brother needed childcare, he should consider compensating her for babysitting. Another suggested she could visit her brother’s place instead, allowing the kids to make a mess in their own home.

Many commenters expressed dismay over the brother’s attitude, pointing out that it was evident why the parents needed a break—because they had created the mess and were seemingly unwilling to take responsibility for it.

When other users questioned why her parents didn’t take on the babysitting themselves, she responded in the comments that it was frustrating she was shouldering the entire burden. She also mentioned that the lack of accountability from both her brother and parents only added to her stress.

She emphasized that it was essential to establish boundaries with both the children and the adults involved. “It’s tough being in this position,” she explained, adding that it’s crucial to demonstrate that ignoring boundaries has consequences.

Overall, the support she received has reinforced her belief in the importance of setting limits and standing firm in her decisions regarding family responsibilities.