Review: Bob Mortimer’s “The Hotel Avocado” – Not Quite a Smashing Follow-Up

In 2022, Bob Mortimer released a crime novel that unmistakably bore his distinctive touch. Titled The Satsuma Complex, it was set in South London and followed the adventures of a shy solicitor named Gary Thorn. Despite typical crime novel elements like gangsters, corrupt cops, and femme fatales, the book also included quirky details like talking squirrels and tangents on barn-owl crockery. The charming eccentricity of the veteran comedian was evident in the book, which won the Bollinger Everyman Wodehouse prize for comic fiction.

The novel also sold exceptionally well, possibly explaining Mortimer’s quick return to the same narrative world. The Hotel Avocado picks up where the previous book left off. Gary is still living his unassuming life in Peckham as his girlfriend, Emily, starts renovating her late father’s hotel in Brighton. The first hundred pages largely discuss whether Gary will move to Brighton to help Emily or continue his life in London, maintaining his reputation for being non-committal.

Part of the fun of reading Mortimer is watching him jam the plot gears so his characters can debate the merits of battenberg cake or ‘dark-dark’ coffee.

The narrative tension eventually materializes with the introduction of Clive Sequence, a vape-smoking thug with a Mansfield accent. Clive is determined to prevent Gary from testifying against corrupt policemen in an upcoming trial, using raw mince as an unusual tool of intimidation. This plot development prompts the question of whether Brighton might be a safe haven for Gary until the danger passes.

However, the main question remains: can the reader be persuaded to care? Although the previous book was whimsical, it possessed a certain urgency that propelled the story forward. In contrast, none of the subplots in The Hotel Avocado add much excitement. Whether it’s Emily trying to secure planning permission for a large model avocado outside the hotel, a new female employee making advances on Gary, or Gary’s pub mate Andy building a bunker for the apocalypse, these storylines lack the dynamism to amplify the main plot, which itself recycles elements from The Satsuma Complex.

Related: The Satsuma Complex by Bob Mortimer review – the sleuth is out there

Weighing in at 400 pages, The Hotel Avocado is a third longer than its predecessor but only half as action-packed or intriguing. Strangely enough, this isn’t entirely a negative. One of the enjoyable aspects of Mortimer’s writing is his ability to bring the plot to a near standstill, allowing characters to engage in delightful debates about topics like battenberg cake or “dark-dark” coffee. What other crime novels offer such whimsical diversions, like imagining a character strutting down the street with the largest box of washing powder ever, effortlessly carried over their shoulder “like a powerful mayor”?

These moments are plentiful, yet they are often overshadowed by lengthy expositions and a plot that lacks sufficient momentum to carry the reader through. Gary, previously a somewhat uninspired character, now comes off as actively annoying. It becomes increasingly perplexing what attractive women like Emily or the new colleague Roma see in him. Unfortunately, The Hotel Avocado falls short, earning a mere two stars out of five. Here’s hoping Mortimer’s next venture into fruit-related fiction brings a more appealing yield.