‘The Bachelorette’ Jenn Tran on Her Toxic Ex and Modern Dating Challenges

Jenn Tran is finished with toxic relationships and is now in search of a “ferocious love.” She makes this declaration in the Season 21 premiere of “The Bachelorette,” where she gets another shot at finding romance on television after being eliminated in Joey Graziadei’s season of “The Bachelor.”

“I think going in this time around, I really wanted to find someone who was open to being vulnerable,” Tran says over a Zoom call after the premiere. “And I didn’t want to have this push-and-pull relationship anymore.”

Tran is the first Asian American lead in the Bachelor franchise. Her season marks a series of firsts: new safety protocols for POC leads, filming at Hummingbird Nest Ranch in Simi Valley, Calif., rather than the traditional Bachelor Mansion, and an unforgettable entrance by a contestant on a stretcher, clad only in bandages and a hospital gown exposing his backside.

The premiere was a wild introduction for the vivacious 26-year-old Vietnamese American physician’s assistant student from Miami. But she’s ready for the challenge. Tran aims to control her love story, making decisions about whom to flirt with, kiss, date, and send home.

Her assertive personality shines as she interacts with the 25 men vying for her heart, matching their charm and cheekiness. Deviating from the stereotype of the demure Asian woman, Tran embraces her desires openly, evident when she shares a passionate kiss with “Southern charmer” Sam M. after giving him the First Impression rose.

The excitement continues as Tran’s journey with her suitors moves to Melbourne, Australia. “Traveling with a partner is one of the best ways to learn about somebody,” Tran explains. A trailer for the season hints at more drama, including a toxic ex reappearing and Tran possibly taking an unprecedented step in proposing herself. How this unfolds remains to be seen.

Tran opened up about meeting her suitors, her resolve to avoid toxic relationships, and what she’s searching for in a partner.

Meeting the men caused Tran to reassess her expectations. She acknowledged her difficult dating history and expressed her desire for someone willing to put in effort. “In terms of Southern charm, it’s giving husband. With Southern charm, there’s this sense of ‘I’m going to take care of you,’” she says.

Feeling unworthy of the men’s attention was initially challenging for her. Tran attributes it to a lack of representation: “We’ve never been a main character. We’ve always been a side character and someone not really sought after.” The thoughtful and intentional gestures from the men helped her feel deserving of being the Bachelorette.

Staying vulnerable and present for each relationship was essential for Tran. She pushed herself to be open with each man, giving every relationship the chance to succeed. This approach ensured she had no regrets.

Saying goodbye to suitors was difficult, as she empathized with their feelings, having been in their position. “Keeping them stringing along would be more hurtful,” Tran notes.

She relied on a mix of her heart, mind, and gut to make decisions about who stays and who goes. Previously, she followed her heart alone, but now she considers logistics and gut feelings to avoid bad relationships.

Her onscreen conversations with her mom were heartfelt. Her mom, initially nervous about appearing on TV, joined to support Tran. Though unfamiliar with the idea of dating 25 men, her mom wanted what’s best for her daughter, recognizing the bad relationships Tran had been in.

Tran emphasized the importance of finding a partner who respects her Vietnamese heritage. “I spent probably half of my life hiding that part of me because I wanted to fit in,” she shares. In her adult life, embracing her culture is vital, and she wants a partner open to being part of a bilingual family and willing to connect with her family.

Ensuring compatibility means looking beyond words to actions. “Actions speak louder than words,” Tran asserts. Genuine effort reveals true compatibility.

Tran’s journey takes a pivotal turn when someone from her past arrives. This surprising twist significantly impacts her emotional processing throughout the show.

Describing a toxic relationship, Tran recalls an ex who felt insecure about her success and silenced her discussions on race and culture. Lack of confidence led her into a harmful relationship marked by gaslighting and emotional manipulation.

Addressing men’s insecurities about financially successful women, Tran acknowledges that traditional gender roles contribute to this discomfort. But in today’s world, women earning more than men is increasingly common.

Reflecting on current dating trends, Tran criticizes the toxic mindset fostered by dating apps and social media. “People think that they can just swipe and find the next best thing,” she says.

If given a chance to be on another reality show, Tran hasn’t thought much beyond a “Grey’s Anatomy”-style doctor dating show.

She advises future Bachelorettes to be themselves and remain open. “I was really surprised throughout the journey by how much I was learning about these men” Tran reveals.

“The Bachelorette” airs Mondays at 8 p.m. ET on ABC and next day on Hulu.